Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Report: Patriots have no plans to release Stefon Diggs - NBC Sports

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

With ‘Ballerina’ Falling Short at the Box Office, ‘John Wick’ May Finally Be Getting Stretched Too Thin - IndieWire

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I can count

Can they start feeding only one meal to prisoners on death row or those doing a life sentence? Because only then will it be real punishment. If they want extra food they can work or pay from their own pocket.

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What are some downsides to living in Newfoundland and Labrador (besides the weather)?

I can read

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When a black man and a white woman have a child, does the child become white? If a white man and a black woman have a child, does the child become black?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Sega Throws Shade At Mario Kart While Showing Off Sonic Racing: Crossworlds - Kotaku

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Wall Street sets Palantir stock price for next 12 months - Finbold

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have a reading level above third grade

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How One Keto Trial Set Off a New War in the Nutrition World - WIRED

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

After 600 Years, Astronomers Finally Solve the Mystery of the Missing ‘Guest Star’ - Gizmodo

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Has anyone liked being made a cocksucker?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Plane from Indianapolis diverted to Tulsa due to weather ahead of NBA Finals Game 1 - KOKH

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t buy bullshit

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I see through liars

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones