Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Why do most Indian women cuckold or cheat on their husbands?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What Happened at Pitchfork’s Zine Launch With Turnstile - Pitchfork

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

American Airlines sent a plane from the US to Italy that was too big for its destination airport and wasn't allowed to land - Business Insider

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Miley Cyrus Recalls How She Used to 'Hide' Drug Spending From Her Accountant - TooFab

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

NASA Spots Strange Towering Shape Breaking Through Mars’ Atmosphere - The Daily Galaxy

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Senate to Review Trump ‘Revenge’ Tax Worrying Wall Street - Bloomberg

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade

Traders Scour for ‘Elusive’ Catalyst to Push S&P 500 to Record - Bloomberg

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why do men like to suck another man’s dick?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Tom Cruise Earns Guinness World Record For ‘Mission: Impossible — The Final Reckoning’ Stunt - Deadline

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I can count

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EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why do atheists want to see God so badly?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I see through liars

Snakes in the yard … maybe more in the future - ironmountaindailynews.com

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can read

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”